To err is human; to forgive, divine.

Forgiveness is a fun word we throw around, but I wonder if we really know what it means? If we really know what it means, are we actually following through on that active verb? (Picture Source).

The Bible mentions the concept of forgiveness many times. In fact, Jesus tells us to forgive 7 times 77 times (Matthew 18:21-22). I wonder how many of us are really going to keep a log to forgive someone 539 times. Jesus also tells us that we ought to forgive and we will be forgiven (Luke 6:37). But what happens when we don't forgive?

Princess Bride Sicilian Death Scene (Source)

Withholding forgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It could also be said like this: Withholding forgiveness is like opening a jail cell and realizing that you were the prisoner. Do you understand what I am telling you? When you don't forgive someone, it doesn't hurt that person, it hurts you. That bitterness and anger you are feeling, if not released will eat away at your soul turning you into a bitter and angry person.

When dealing with anger and pain, there are two types of people, exploders and imploders. Exploders hurt others with their words or actions. Imploders prefer to hurt themselves. I am an imploder. For years, I let anger and bitterness fester inside me. That anger turned into pain that I tried to escape from. I pushed everyone away, including God. I put up walls around me to protect myself from getting hurt. I tried many outlets of escape: bad relationships, alcohol, movies, books. I tried to keep moving so I didn't have to stop and think about painful memories or childhood trauma.

In order to get me back on track, I feel like God used things like books and movies to bring me back to Him. What I was using as an escape from reality, actually brought me back to reality and into a deep relationship with Him.

Breakfast at Tiffany's Final Scene (Source)

Just like Holly, I didn't want to be put into a cage. But just like her, I put myself in a cage. Those walls I mentioned before were the walls I built myself. Learning how to forgive was a BIG step in my journey to healing. In the clip above, Holly made the choice to get out of the cab and embrace happiness.

You have to choose happiness. Making the decision to choose isn't always easy. We sometimes take refuge in misery, a strange kind of comfort. But no matter what happens in life, happiness is there for us, waiting to be embraced. ~Forever Odd, by Dean Koontz

When we decide to withhold forgiveness, even to yourself, we end up living like a victim. Cause and effect: a child would act like this: he hurt my feelings, so I am not going to play with him. I am just going to ignore him. This child has entered into the vicious grip of bitterness. That boy, who hurt his/her feelings, has no clue that he did. The only person it hurts is the child, who is now the victim. Who isolates themselves from others trying to not get hurt again.

Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis (Source)

It took me years, and a few counselors, to realize that no means of escape will help you deal with the hurt, anger and bitterness that is festering inside of you. Running away and escaping only puts yourself in a cage. "No matter how far you run, you end up running into yourself" (Breakfast at Tiffany's). You need to stand in the water and let the waves hit you. Deal with the pain head on.

Stephen King wrote, "If a fear cannot be articulated, it cannot be conquered" (Salem's Lot). If you cannot articulate, give a voice to the pain or feelings, they won't be able to be conquered. It is when you process the pain or trauma you have experienced that you can begin to heal.

I am a Christ follower. My road of healing started when I chose to stop running and pushing away from God, but embraced Him.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 12:28-30).

Jesus died on a cross to take away your sins and burdens. He gives you a choice: follow me or continue on your own way. "If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved" (Romans 10:9). By placing the burdens you have been carrying at the foot of the cross, He can give you rest too. It all boils down to that choice. What are you going to do with yours?

*Edited 10 July 2023. Removed potentially copyrighted photos and/or replaced with open source.